The Gift of Sensitivity


For most of my childhood there were no terms or labels for highly sensitive beings especially in the 80’s in the US, but my family knew early on that's what they were dealing with. It was not easy for them or me. And I think they hoped it was a phase that I would grow out of. I find it almost like a cosmic joke that most people who tend to fall in this spectrum tend to be surrounded by the polar opposite most of their life through family members, coworkers, friends and relationships. It has worked for me in many ways and in other times it has brought memorable life lessons that I can laugh about now. My family has always been very protective of me and most of them were physicians and this was unknown, irrational territory they were uncomfortable tending to and rightfully so.

As a child, I deeply felt the emotions of other people, spaces and environments. I had trouble understanding what I was personally feeling vs someone else. I was content playing by myself, I lived in an imaginative dream world and needed lots of time to process and get things done. I tested the patience of my loved ones and my need to be alone at times was really difficult and I appeared to be mysterious. For the most part I didn’t understand or had a framework of what I was dealing with.

And to be honest I never bought into the rules of the third dimension no matter how much education, how much I would talk myself out of believing, I always felt there was a deeper richer mystical world that was right here, as well. I’ve also struggled with balance with most of my life which is probably why I have been a perpetual student and Ayurvedic Health Counselor which focuses quite a bit on bringing balance and lifestyle changes through small incremental lifestyle shifts and routines.

I can easily be moved by music, beauty, nature, kindness and another person’ passion in a subject matter. I am always the person and friend that people come to when they are going through a crisis and need solace and kindness. I can be deeply driven by emotions positively and negatively when I’m unconscious of what is controlling me. And because of that over time I’ve had to come to terms that I need firm boundaries with time management that factor in time for recharging and balance, my home is my solace and sanctuary and it can be a space for comfort, I need to make space every day for deep spiritual practice, exercise, being mindful of my diet, and get to bed by 10-10:30 pm are just a few of the things that have worked for me. The structure gives me balance to tend to the unruly realm of emotions that I can learn to release and not hold onto anything. Most of us don’t know that emotion physiologically stays in the body for 90 seconds after that if we are holding on to it, we are holding on to a story.

And truly when we are more balanced the emotions are not the rulers of the game, they only are when you are not taking care of yourself and have repressed and unprocessed energy in your system.

This sensitivity is a gift and if you or a loved one have it, I know it can be difficult and sometimes even glamorized. It's neither, but it is needed and welcomed in the workforce and in all facets of life. We need more leaders, the health care force, scientists, creatives, teachers, parents and caregivers who are balanced in their emotions and open to expressing vulnerability, empathy and compassion there is a strength there that is often overseen.

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